Stay calm and avoid drama

I've been repeating this phrase like a mantra for years. It has truly helped me lighten my load as a parent, an entrepreneur, and simply as a perpetually worried human being. Do you know that feeling too? Waking up at 3 AM, which turns into a complete analysis of minor flaws, amplifying them, the mind racing with a catastrophic scenario that will probably never materialize?

January and February 2025 were particularly trying for me, and I was drawn to Mark Manson's book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck." One sentence struck me to the core: "Let's be honest: sometimes everything goes wrong, and you have to accept it." This liberation made me realize how caught up I was in this culture of obsessive positive thinking which, paradoxically, made me more anxious.

Take my son, Laurier, in seventh grade. Two mediocre math grades and my brain, that fabulous catastrophe machine, went into overdrive: "He's not adjusting to middle school," "His academic career is compromised." The truth? A simple conversation with the teacher resolved everything.

Our propensity for parental drama

At the beginning of my parenthood, I was that anxious mother... Listening to social media experts, we're always "compromising" our child. Too much screen time? Compromised brain. Too strict? Trauma. Punishments? Weakened self-esteem. Rewards? Intrinsic motivation sabotaged. Impossible to win!

I've deviated from so many of these beautiful principles shared daily on Instagram. And yet, seeing my children grow (my eldest will be 15) allows me to see that my actions have been perfectly adequate.

A principle from Manson that profoundly relieved me: "You're not special, you know." This idea was liberating. First for myself: I don't have to be an exceptional businesswoman or an exceptional mother. This constant pressure to perform... what an unnecessary burden!

Of course, like all parents, deep down I think my children are exceptional. But I keep a reserve, I refuse to inflict this crushing pressure on them. I love them, I value their strengths, without putting them on a pedestal. This demand for extraordinariness is precisely what pushes so many of us to create dramas when we don't achieve this fantasized perfection.

My anti-drama method inspired by Manson

What I've developed is my little anti-drama system:

• The "So what?" test: I push my catastrophic scenario to the extreme then I ask myself "So what?" until I hit rock bottom. Let's take an example: I lose a big contract → So what? → I'm going to lose revenue → So what? → I'll have to cut certain expenses → So what? The "So what" forces me to think and I discover a financial reorganization opportunity I hadn't seen.

• The 5-year rule: Will this situation that concerns me so much still matter in 5 years? If not, I lower my anxiety level by a notch.

• The f*cks given counter: As Manson suggests, I have a limited capital of "f*cks" to give in this life. I spend them sparingly.

• Acceptance of imperfection: I stopped fighting reality. Sometimes, everything goes wrong, and that's OK.

Perfection, that drama factory

Philippe, my husband, often says that our family success is due to the fact that we "sometimes cut corners." This expression used to annoy me – me, the chronic perfectionist!

Today, it's our family mantra. The stain on the tablecloth made by my youngest just before dinner with my in-laws? Never mind. The slightly sunken birthday cake? It gives it personality.

The best part is that this zen attitude is contagious. The other day, my youngest accidentally knocked over the Lego creation his brother had spent a whole weekend on. Instead of an explosion of anger, I heard my eldest tell him: "It's not great, I wish you had been more careful... but I should be able to rebuild it faster this time."

Philippe and I try to develop this ability to look at each other with a little raised eyebrow when one of us gets carried away. "Drama or not drama?" has become our code question. He's better at it than I am – it's in his naturally calm temperament – but I'm improving. We have our moments when the zen attitude flies away, but we forgive ourselves these lapses.

So this month, I invite you to join me: let's observe our inner dramas for what they are – often stories we tell ourselves. I will present habits, reflections, and activities to maintain a zen attitude in our home. Let's accept that we are not extraordinary, and that's perfectly normal. Because yes, dramas are often in our heads, and we have the power to defuse them.

Dominique