You've been using the General Store at home for a few weeks and you're wondering whether it's appropriate to take tokens away from your child when they don't follow the rules or push back against your requests? At Les Belles Combines, we strongly believe it's better not to, or you risk seriously hurting their motivation to take part in the system and cooperate positively. Just imagine being paid a salary each week for your work, only to have it taken back a few days later! So we suggest applying logical consequences to your children's inappropriate actions instead, which will likely have far more effect than classic punishments (“go to your room!” or “no dessert for you!”) or taking away hard-earned tokens. Out of inspiration, or struggling to come up with ideas in the heat of the moment or when you're angry? Here are a few ideas to help:
Your child refuses to put away their toys when you ask
Gather all the toys that haven't been picked up and put them in the General Store. To get them back, your child will have to pay the number of tokens you've decided on.
Your child doesn't do their daily chore as asked
Each time, push the chore to the next day, on top of the chore they already had to do that day. Refusing to do their chores all week long? Have them make up all of them on the weekend before they can play with friends or take part in planned activities.
Your child is distracted or uncooperative during homework and study time
Have them make up the time you lost helping them by helping you prepare dinner or do the dishes.
Your child is rude or hurtful toward another family member
Ask them to make a gesture of repair toward the person affected. Out of ideas? Here are a few:
- Help care for the person your child hurt physically
- Repair the damaged item or pay the amount needed to replace it
- Do something nice for the person (draw a picture, write a letter, prepare a special snack, etc.)
Find plenty more suggestions in our cool-down kit!
Your child is disruptive or misbehaves during family dinner
Ask them to eat apart, or to wait until everyone else has finished eating before they eat.
Your child enjoys making their little brother scream or making their big sister mad
Require them to find something to do beside you (while you carry on with your own activities) so you can provide the constant supervision they're asking for.
Finally, remember that, beyond simply applying consequences to your children's misbehaviour, consistency in your approach and the use of positive reinforcement will be your main allies when it comes to getting full cooperation from your little ones and your big ones alike!
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