Self-Esteem, One Step at a Time: Tips and Advice for Developing and Maintaining It

One log at a time

Personally, when I think about self-esteem, I imagine a house being built, brick by brick, little by little, to make a beautiful and solid home. I also think of a fire that we feed, one log at a time, to form a beautiful ember and keep the flame alive. Just like a house (or a fire), self-esteem is built little by little, through positive observations, encouraging words, and the sense of importance that the people buzzing around us foster.

From an early age, our children amaze us with their achievements, their learning, their new skills, and their small and large successes. Congratulating them when they find something easy to accomplish is often highlighted by parents, and that's a good thing, but there are also other little tricks, words, or gestures to adopt to feed the children's "fire".

Respect him, just as you want him to respect you

Using "I" statements may seem cliché, but it can be a beautiful way to facilitate communication, while instilling mutual respect. A warm, comforting family home where good understanding reigns is very reassuring for a child.

Present new challenges to him

Encourage your child to experience new situations, new things. These can be simple in nature, so that he experiences successes and gains pride from them, but also more "challenging" in nature. The goal is not for him to succeed with flying colors, but rather for him to try, or simply be exposed to novelty, so that the next time is a bit easier and he thus realizes that he is improving and can accomplish new things. Little by little, he will realize that what once seemed insurmountable is becoming less so, and he will derive enormous satisfaction from it! This also brings him out of his comfort zone and he will undoubtedly be more inclined to face various circumstances and take risks.

Ask for his advice and show him that he is important

Small questions like: "What do you think about...?", "I'll let you choose...", "Do you think that...?" can easily be integrated into daily life and help your child develop good self-esteem. This gives him importance and sends him the message that his opinion is highly valued. This impact is significant. Why not let your child choose apples or kiwis on your next grocery trip? Also, discussing the things he experiences, his daily life, is positive because he feels that you are attentive and that he matters in the household.

Encourage him again and again

We can't say it enough, but our big and small encouragements, little pats on the back, compliments, "I love yous," smiles, winks, and all these little marks of affection and attention contribute to self-esteem.

Help him get to know himself better

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. And when your child encounters a difficulty, it can be good to remind him that he may not be performing in that area, but that he is skilled in other things, and that is perfectly fine. You can serve as a role model by verbalizing and downplaying a situation you experienced where you didn't excel at all! We serve as role models for our children. We are the first people they trust, they emulate, and this applies in glorious situations, but also in less flattering ones.

Bring about a sense of pride

Highlighting the progress made over a few months, weeks, or days can not only make your child proud of himself, but also make him realize that he has grown and progressed. Achieving something often doesn't happen with a shout of "scissors!", and that's perfectly fine. Because it's the entire journey to achieve the goal that counts, that's important, and that will make your offspring even prouder of themselves. The efforts made, the commitment, perseverance, patience, and mutual aid, in small and large doses, shape personality, but also bring a lovely sense of pride!

To concretely highlight your children's successes, qualities, and efforts, you can give your children these pride tickets, which they can keep carefully in their self-esteem pouch and thus realize that they are capable of many things!

Finally, here are five indicators that demonstrate...

Low self-esteem:

• Quickly saying "I'm useless!" or "I'm no good!" when encountering a difficulty; in short, self-deprecating

• Distrusting others

• Avoid new situations

• Get angry quickly

• Have difficulty accepting compliments

• Knowing our tastes & interests

• Being cheerful

• Making friends easily

• Enjoying trying new activities

• Trusting oneself and others

Finally...

Let's not forget that we are the number one role models for our children. So let's be kind to ourselves and build our self-esteem as best we can. As a family, why not find a quality, a talent, an area that challenges you, or something you appreciate about yourself? This exercise may seem easy, but it's a nice challenge, isn't it?

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