The self-esteem, one step at a time
10 January, 2021
Have you ever heard of the famous pyramid of Maslow? It demonstrates the needs of the human being. It has five levels, ranging from physiological needs, like drinking, eating and sleeping, passing by other needs such as security, achievement, and belonging to a group. Almost at the top of this beautiful pyramid advocates the need for esteem; the sense of feeling useful, valued, rewarded, appreciated and win the autonomy and steal a day of our own wings (without too much beating of the wing!). This is what brings me to talk to you about the self-esteem. A broad concept, but fundamental and of great importance in the education of our young.
One log after the other
Personally, when I reflect on the self-esteem, I imagine a house that is built, brick by brick, little by little, to make a beautiful and solid home. I also think a fire that it fuels, a log of wood after the other, to form a beautiful embers and keep the flame alive and well. Just as the house (or the fire), self-esteem is built little by little, by dint of observations with positive encouraging words and the feeling of importance that people who are foraging around feeding us.
How to foster a healthy self-esteem ?
From a young age, our children we inspire by their deeds, their learning, their skills and their small and great successes. Congratulate them when they have the facility to do something is quite often highlighted the part of the parents and it is a good thing, but there are also other little tricks, words or gestures to adopt to feed the "fire" of the children.
Respect it, just as you want it to respect you. Speak in " I " may sound like a cliché, but it can be a beautiful way to facilitate communication, instilling mutual respect. A family home warm, comforting where the good agreement reigns is very safe for a child.
Present him with new challenges. Bring your child to live new situations, new things. These can be simple in nature, so they live successes and he can take pride in, but also other more " challengeantes ". The goal is not to succeed the top-of-the-hand, but though he tries, or that there is exposed, so that the next time be a bit more easy, and he notes as well that it improves and that he can accomplish it. Little by little, he realized that what appeared to perhaps be insurmountable is less and less and he gained a lot of satisfaction! It brings also out of his comfort zone and he will no doubt be more inclined to respond to various circumstances and to take risks.
Ask him for advice and to show him that he is important. Small questions like : "What do you think of...? "" I will let you choose... ", "do you Think...?" can be easily integrated in the daily routine and help your child feel good about him. This gives her importance and sends it as a message that his opinion has a great value. This scope is non-negligible. Why not let your child pick the apples or kiwis during your next trip to the grocery store?
Exchange, too, about the things he saw on his daily life, is positive, because it feels that you are attentive and that he in the household.
The encourage again and again. We can never say it enough, but our small and great encouragement, the pats on the back, the compliments, the " I love you ", the smiles, the winks, and all these little marks of attention and affection contribute to self-esteem.
Help him to get better acquainted. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. And when your child faces a difficulty, it may be good to remind him that he is not performing well may not be in this sphere, but he is clever in other things, and that it is very good as well. You can serve as a model in talking about them and dédramatisant a situation where you do not excel at all! We serve as a model to our children. We are the first people on whom they rely, they imitate and this applies in the situations glorious, but also for those a little less flattering.
Bring the feeling of pride. Highlight the path in the last few months, a few weeks or a few days can not only make your child proud of him, but also make him realize that he has evolved, and that it has progressed. Be successful at something is often not often shouted "scissors!" and it is correct. Because that is all the path traveled to reach the goal that counts, that is important, and that will make your offspring even more proud of her.
The efforts, the commitment, the perseverance, the patience and the self-help, small-and large-dose forge the personality, but also bring a nice sense of pride!
With my students, I emphasize good shots, their qualities and their efforts in providing tickets to pride that they record on a small ring. Quickly, to force to earn, they find that they have several strings to their bow, that they are capable of many things. In moments of doubt, in situations which require more effort for some, or during a bad day, I refers to the famous ring of pride. "Look at what you're capable of! "" Admittedly, this task is more difficult, but you have many other skills and qualities! "
In this regard, The Beautiful Handsets have had the idea to offer tickets to the pride of the house! You can buy them in pdf form right here.
in Short.
Here, in 5 points, a few indicators that show...
poor self-esteem :
-
to Have the "I'm good for nothing!" or "I am zero!" is easy when one encounters a difficulty; in short, depreciate
-
to Be wary of the other
-
to Avoid new situations,
-
Getting angry quickly,
-
Have difficulty accepting compliments
A healthy self-esteem :
-
To know our tastes and our interests
-
to Be smiling
-
to make friends easily,
-
Love to try new activities,
-
trust and trust the other
To finish...
let's not forget that we serve as a model number one for our children. So let us be forgiving to ourselves and have raised our estimates as best we can. In the family, why don't you find it a quality, a talent, an area that gives you a hard time or a thing that you appreciate about you? This exercise may seem easy, but represents a nice challenge, isn't it?