Chores: A Gift for Your Children's Future

Even though these requests are an inevitable part of family life, many parents often feel guilty about asking their children to help with household chores, claiming that they already have so much homework, that they deserve to enjoy their childhood, or that it's simply faster if they do the task themselves.

But rest assured: chores do not harm your children in any way. On the contrary, actively involving them in daily tasks is an excellent way to invest in their future!

What the research tells us

For decades, many researchers have tried to identify, through their research, what distinguishes successful adults from those whose paths contain more obstacles, and the answers are often surprising!

The Harvard Study: 75 Years of Data

One of the longest studies ever conducted on this subject is the Harvard Grant Study, which followed 724 participants for a total of 75 years, from adolescence to old age. Researchers analyzed all possible factors: intelligence, socioeconomic status, education, genetics, and family relationships.

Against all expectations, among all the factors studied, one of the best predictors of success in adulthood turned out to be simply having participated in household chores during childhood.

Thus, children who were given regular—even simple—domestic responsibilities became more autonomous, more professionally competent adults, with better interpersonal relationships and better mental health. 

The University of Minnesota Study

A multi-decade study conducted by researchers at the University of Minnesota revealed that the age at which children begin to contribute to household chores also has a significant impact.

Indeed, children who started contributing to household chores around the age of 3 to 4 were, 20 years later, more likely to have completed their education, had better relationships with their family and friends, more success in their professional careers, and better mental and emotional well-being.

In comparison, children who only started contributing to chores in adolescence (or never!) showed higher rates of academic failure, dependence on others for basic tasks, professional difficulties, and even relational conflicts related to the distribution of domestic work.

Skills developed through contributing to tasks

When you ask your child to set the table, you might think you're just teaching them to put plates and forks on the table. In reality, you're teaching them a dozen complex skills simultaneously.

Sense of Responsibility

A sense of responsibility means understanding that your actions have a direct impact on others, that your contribution is necessary for the proper functioning of the group.

So, when your 7-year-old has to feed the cat every evening, they learn that if they don't, the cat will be hungry. They understand that they are part of a team where everyone has a role. 

Transfer to Adult Life

In the future, this sense of responsibility translates into reliability and professional conscientiousness at work and, in relationships, the ability to contribute fairly.

Planning and Sequencing

Doing laundry is not a simple action, but a sequence: gathering dirty clothes, sorting them by color, using the right detergent, starting the appropriate wash cycle, transferring clean clothes to the dryer, folding clothes, and finally, putting them away in the right rooms.

Thus, a 10-year-old learning to manage this sequence develops their planning ability—a crucial executive function. They learn that some actions must precede others, and that the order of execution of the steps that make up a task is of great importance.

Transfer to Adult Life

Managing a project at work, organizing a wedding, moving, planning a trip—all these steps that can be found in adult life require mastering this planning skill that household chores naturally teach.

Perseverance 

Tidying a messy room is not a pleasant or stimulating activity. It takes time, it's repetitive, and often, the child wants to give up halfway to finally go play. But if they learn instead to persevere, that is, to continue their work even when it's boring, they build a mental capacity that will serve them throughout their lives.

Transfer to Adult Life

Adult life is inevitably filled with often boring but necessary tasks: filing tax returns, making a monthly budget, responding to administrative emails, studying for exams, maintaining a house... Being exposed early to this kind of situation better prepares one to face it in adulthood and, above all, not to give up along the way!

Pride and a Sense of Competence

When a 6-year-old folds a pile of washcloths and sees the result of their work—a neat and tidy pile they created themselves—they are proud of themselves and the work accomplished. 

This intrinsic pride is often more motivating than any compliment, and it is precisely this that allows for the construction of self-esteem based on real skills, which also prevents the future adult from collapsing in the face of criticism. 

The Profound Impact on Self-Esteem

Participation in household chores provides the child with concrete proof of their abilities. Indeed, a child who has folded a pile of clothes or cleaned the bathroom can concretely see the result of their efforts.

Collaborating on tasks also helps the child feel useful. Thus, when a 5-year-old sets the table and the whole family can eat thanks to their actions, they feel valuable and that their contribution to daily family life truly matters.

Finally, household chores performed at a young age also teach the child that effort leads to results, a lesson that will undoubtedly be very useful throughout their adult life. 

The Surprising Link with Academic Success

Do you want your child to get good grades in school? Ask them to empty the dishwasher every morning!

The executive functions developed through performing household chores are exactly the same skills needed for academic success. Thus, a child who has learned to plan the sequence for cleaning their room is then able to transfer this skill to doing their homework, as they know how to break down a school project into different steps. Obviously, the other skills acquired through contributing to household chores, namely the ability to plan, prioritize, and persevere, allow children to effectively manage their school workload. 

Demystifying: "Overburdening" vs. "Depriving of Learning"

While some parents don't require any contribution from their children, others ask too much, and often too soon. And, as in all things, excess is never desirable. 

The Myth of "Overburdening"

If you fear overburdening your child by asking them to actively participate in household tasks, rest assured: today's children generally spend an average of less than 30 minutes per week contributing to household chores, which is about 4 minutes a day. If we consider the screen time for a majority of them, the problem is not a lack of time, but rather the priority given to these responsibilities. Obviously, on the other hand, asking a 6-year-old to clean the entire house, demanding an impossible level of perfection, or assigning so many tasks that the child no longer has time to play: that is certainly overburdening. 

The Real Danger: Depriving of Learning

By not giving your child any responsibility for fear of "overburdening" them, you are actually taking away something much more precious than free time: the opportunity to develop valuable skills, the sense of pride that comes from contributing to family life, preparation for the realities of adult life, the development of executive functions, and the building of self-esteem.

Finding Balance

Between overburdening and a total lack of responsibilities, it is therefore better to adopt realistic and balanced expectations, adapted to the child's age, their developmental level, and their daily schedule. Consult our autonomy path, available in our Magazine or on our Octave application, or our task magnets to discover tasks perfectly adapted to your children's age!

In conclusion, household chores are not just a chore you impose on your children; they are disguised opportunities—daily chances to build a sense of responsibility, planning ability, perseverance, and self-esteem, investments in their future ability to manage their lives independently and positively. So, the next time you hesitate to ask your child to clean their room or set the table, remember: you are not imposing a chore on them, you are offering them a gift that will serve them throughout their lives!