Household chores: a gift for your children's future

Even though these requests are an unavoidable part of family life, many parents often feel guilty about asking their kids to help with chores. They say their kids already have so much homework, that they deserve to enjoy their childhood, or that it's simply faster to do the job themselves.

But take comfort: chores don't hurt your children one bit. On the contrary, actively involving them in daily tasks is a great way to invest in their future!

What the research tells us

For decades, researchers have been trying to figure out what sets successful adults apart from those whose paths have had more bumps along the way, and the answers are often surprising!

The Harvard study: 75 years of data

One of the longest studies ever conducted on the subject is the Harvard Grant Study, which followed 724 participants for a total of 75 years, from adolescence into old age. The researchers analyzed every possible factor: intelligence, socioeconomic status, education, genetics and family relationships.

Against all expectations, out of all the factors studied, one of the best predictors of success in adulthood turned out to be simply having helped with household chores during childhood.

So children who were given regular household responsibilities – even simple ones – grew up to be more independent adults, more competent at work, with better relationships and better mental health.

The University of Minnesota study

A study conducted over several decades by researchers at the University of Minnesota revealed, for its part, that the age at which children start contributing to household chores also has a significant impact.

Indeed, the children who started contributing to chores around the age of 3 or 4 were, 20 years later, more likely to have finished their education, had better relationships with family and friends, were more successful in their careers and enjoyed better mental and emotional well-being.

By comparison, the children who only started contributing to chores in adolescence (or even never!) showed higher rates of academic failure, of depending on others for basic tasks, of career difficulties and even of relationship conflicts over how housework is divided.

The skills built by pitching in

When you ask your child to set the table, you may think you're simply teaching them to put plates and forks on the table. In reality, you're teaching them about a dozen complex skills at once.

A sense of responsibility

A sense of responsibility means understanding that your actions have a direct impact on others, and that your contribution is needed for the group to run smoothly.

So when your 7-year-old has to feed the cat every evening, they learn that if they don't do it, the cat will go hungry. They understand that they're part of a team where everyone has a role.

Carrying it over into adult life

In the future, this sense of responsibility shows up at work as reliability and conscientiousness and, in relationships, as the ability to contribute fairly.

Planning and sequencing

Doing the laundry isn't a single action but a sequence: gathering the dirty clothes, sorting them by colour, using the right detergent, starting the appropriate wash cycle, moving the clean clothes to the dryer, folding them and, finally, putting them away in the right bedrooms.

So a 10-year-old who learns to manage this sequence develops their planning ability – a crucial executive function. They learn that some actions have to come before others, and that the order in which the steps of a task are carried out matters a great deal.

Carrying it over into adult life

Managing a project at work, organizing a wedding, moving, planning a trip – all of these things you'll run into in adult life call for the planning skill that chores teach so naturally.

Perseverance

Tidying a messy room isn't a pleasant or stimulating activity. It takes time, it's repetitive and, often, the child wants to quit halfway so they can finally go play. But if they learn to persevere instead, to keep working even when it's boring, they build a mental capacity that will serve them for life.

Carrying it over into adult life

Adult life is inevitably full of tasks that are often boring but still necessary: filing a tax return, making a monthly budget, answering administrative emails, studying for exams, maintaining a house... Having faced this kind of situation early on means being better prepared to deal with it as an adult and, above all, not giving up halfway!

Pride and a sense of competence

When a 6-year-old folds a pile of washcloths and sees the result of their work – a neat, tidy pile they made themselves – they feel proud of themselves and of what they've accomplished.

This intrinsic pride is often more motivating than any compliment, and it's the very thing that allows self-esteem to be built on real skills, which also keeps the future adult from falling apart when faced with criticism.

The deep impact on self-esteem

Taking part in chores gives children concrete proof of what they're capable of. Indeed, a child who has folded a pile of clothes or cleaned the bathroom can see the result of their efforts with their own eyes.

Pitching in also lets children feel useful. So when a 5-year-old sets the table and the whole family is able to sit down to dinner thanks to what they did, they feel that they have value and that their contribution to everyday family life truly counts.

Finally, chores done at a young age also teach children that effort leads to results, a lesson that will surely be extremely useful to them throughout their adult lives.

The surprising link to school success

Want your child to get good grades at school? Ask them to empty the dishwasher every morning!

The executive functions developed through doing chores are exactly the same skills needed to succeed academically. So a child who has learned to plan the sequence for cleaning their room can then transfer that skill to doing their homework, since they know how to break a school project down into different steps. Of course, the other skills gained through contributing to chores, namely the ability to plan, prioritize and persevere, let children manage their school workload effectively.

Demystifying: “overloading” vs. “depriving of learning”

While some parents ask nothing of their children, others ask for too much, and often too soon. And, as with everything, too much is never desirable.

The “overload” myth

If you're afraid of overloading your child by asking them to take an active part in housework, take comfort: today's children generally spend, on average, less than 30 minutes a week contributing to chores, or about 4 minutes a day. If you think about the time most of them spend on screens, the problem isn't a lack of time, but rather the priority given to these responsibilities. Of course, on the other hand, asking a 6-year-old to clean the whole house, demanding an impossible level of perfection or assigning so many chores that the child has no time left to play: that is definitely overload.

The real danger: depriving them of learning

By giving your child no responsibilities out of fear of “overloading” them, you're taking away something far more precious than free time: the chance to develop valuable skills, the pride that comes from contributing to family life, preparation for the realities of adult life, the development of executive functions and the building of self-esteem.

Finding the balance

Between overload and a total absence of responsibilities, it's best to adopt realistic, balanced expectations that suit your child's age, their level of development and their daily schedule. Check out our independence pathway, available in our Magazine or in our Octave app, or our Magnétos chore magnets to discover chores that are perfectly suited to your children's ages!

In conclusion, household chores aren't just a drudgery you impose on your children; they're opportunities in disguise – everyday chances to build a sense of responsibility, planning ability, perseverance and self-esteem, investments in their future ability to manage their lives independently and positively. So the next time you hesitate to ask your child to clean their room or set the table, remember: you're not imposing a chore on them, you're giving them a gift that will serve them for life!