Grandparents: precious allies in everyday family life

Of course, grandparents also lend a practical hand to parents who are often overwhelmed by their parenting and work responsibilities. Whether it's looking after the kids, preparing delicious home-cooked meals or picking the little ones up from school or daycare, many parents couldn't do without them in managing their daily lives! In fact, according to psychologist Suzanne Vallières, co-author of the book Le Psy-guide des grands-parents, “Parents who don't have this resource sometimes have trouble doing it all.”

Tips for a successful parent/grandparent relationship

Most psychologists agree that the key to a successful relationship between parents and grandparents (and in any kind of relationship, for that matter) is communication! As psychoeducator Mélanie Bilodeau puts it, “it is important for parents to talk about their vision of parenting and for grandparents to listen to them and support them, without judging them.”

Also, while it's important to respect each other on both sides, it's also important to be flexible. The way we raise children has changed a lot since the days when grandparents were parents themselves, so some may be more permissive than you or, on the contrary, set rules you don't enforce at home. Your child is thus able to understand that what applies at Grandpa and Grandma's isn't necessarily valid at home, and vice versa!

What type of grandparent is in your life?

In her master's thesis on the growing involvement of grandparents, sociology professor Andrée-Anne Boucher identified three styles of grandparents. Which ones most resemble the grandparents in your children's lives? And which one do you think you'll become when it's your turn to play this precious role?

• Stand-in parents. These grandparents make sure to follow the rules and routine set by the parents. For example, “If the grandson always goes to bed at 8 p.m., they'll make sure that when they babysit him, he goes to bed at 8 p.m.,” says the sociology professor.
• Doting grandparents. These grandparents love to spoil their grandchildren and allow them special things, whether it's sweets or late bedtimes, for example.
• Still parenting their own child. These grandparents continue to play an important parental role with their own children, giving them, among other things, advice on how to raise their grandchildren.

Finally, no matter what type of grandparents you have around you, your life would certainly be very different without their presence in your life and in your children's lives. And, because they are precious, we invite you to take the time to celebrate them with this selection of books about grandparents, offered by Les Libraires!

Celebrating grandparents (in French)

Lastly, to learn more about the report “Grandparent Health and Family Well-Being” by the Vanier Institute of the Family, click here!

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